<aside> ✨ Trust , Active Listening, and Voice in Negotiation

• Trust is a key element in a negotiation
• It will give us information about how the other person thinks and feels
• By understanding their wants and needs, you can predict how they will act
• Active Listening accomplishes 2 things:
  • Stop listening to your own irrational biases
  • Make the other person feel safe
    • Discussing their wants will help you understand their needs
• Mirroring is a simple and effective technique
  • Copying other people’s behavior comforts them + creates trust
  • Transmits that you want to better understand what they are saying - hoping them causing them to reveal more information
• Use of Voice can heavily influence outcome
  • Positive and playful
    • Default voice
    • Speak while smiling
    • Easy-going tone
    • Positive attitude ⇒ collaboration
  • Light-night FM DJ
    • Use selectively
    • Downward inflection
    • Calm, slow pace
    • Authority =/= Defensiveness
    • In Control + Creating Safe Space </aside>

<aside> 🫂 Using Tactical Empathy to Gain an Advantage

• Tactical Empathy keeps negotiations open and forward-moving
  • Empathy ⇒ Putting self in another’s shoes
  • Tactical empathy ⇒ hearing what is behind feelings in order to increase influence
  • Emotional Intelligence + Strategic Thinking
• Labeling can be used to create tactical empathy
  • Recognize and verbalize counterpart’s emotions
  • Validate and acknowledge them, acting as if you feel the emotions yourself (trust)
  • Be aware of body language and voice inflections
• Remove oneself from the equation
  • Stop saying “I”
  • “It looks like…” “It sounds like…”
  • Demonstrate selfless, empathetic interest
  • Label ⇒ Silence
    • Let the other person expand on it
    • It is a statement, not a question
    • Leaves spectrum of answers wide
    • Addresses underling emotions instead of superficial ones
      • In a way that diffuses negative feelings
• Empathy is a human instinct
  • Create more meaningful connection
  • Healthy relationships
  • Tool to help you get what you want
  • Everyone wants to be understood </aside>

<aside> 🚫 Just Say No

• Allows you to clarify what you want and dont want
  • Gives you control and kicks off the negotiation
• Saying “No” temporarily protects yourself by giving space to consider options in a relaxed way
  • No buys you time, gives you opportunities to persuade your counter part into accepting your position
• Counterpart also has right to say No
  • Good thing
  • Letting them conserve autonomy ⇒ illusion of control
• Forcing a No
  • Example: Asking for salary raise
    • Are you dissatisfied with my work?
    • Have I been underperforming?
  • Give him decision making power ⇒ nudge into a corner where there isn't much to say
• Getting a no can be advantageous
  • Push for it
  • Find a question that will generate a No
  • Embrace the No
• No can be hard to implement because sometimes it is interpreted as mean
  • No creates friction and conflict but also allows people to feel safe and in control
  • Different but subtle ways to express no
    • how?
• Through disagreement, people’s real desires as expressed.
  • What everyone really wants becomes known
  • Seeking negativity ⇒ uncover counterparts thoughts and feelings ⇒ get to a real, committed yes </aside>

<aside> 💰 Don’t compromise, don’t give in, and never ever split the difference.

• Compromising or splitting the difference can lead to dissatisfaction for everyone involved
  • Meeting half way makes you vulnerable to being pushed into a corner
  • Avoid compromise ⇒ create leverage in your favor
• Time is a tool that can cause tranquility or anxiety
  • Establishing deadlines + consequences can provoke people to act due to fear of loss
  • Most deadlines are flexible and can be used to your advantage
• Fairness is an important tool
  • Logic is present in how we reach decisions, but decision-making is dictated by emotion
  • Fairness is linked to Logic and Respect
  • State desire for things to be “fair” to let your counterpart know they are considered from the beginning
• People act emotionally and irrationally </aside>

<aside> 🦢 Find the Black Swan and Use It

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